Welcome to my August blog. The Spring Reset: the 'perception versus reality' challenges of making New Zealand my new home, as we pass my 13 years anniversary. And in this month's leadership tip, we explore how our perception and focus impact our outcomes.
Perception versus reality
My story - the shock of arriving in Wellington in the 'spring'!
Over thirteen years ago, I arrived in New Zealand, in spring, knowing virtually no one bar my then husband, lovely step daughter and his family.
Emigrating was part of reinventing myself and building a new life for the kids here in Wellington. I'd visited maybe five times before the big move. We'd been very lucky with the weather and so I was expecting more of the same!
Perception versus reality
Wellington turned on the horizontal rain and wild wind for two weeks. The house was beautiful but has no heat pump, drafty windows, no insulation… bad cork tiles on the floor but we made it home. Camping with outside furniture inside.
My kids were 5&3, we had no car or furniture as our container hadn't arrived, and we’d been advised to bring light rain jackets!!
I remember holding both of them by the hands, heads down against the wind, tramping across a soggy Seaton footy field towards school/Kindi. The kids were upset (didn’t blame them, it was a shock) and I was wondering what we’d done!
Reality changes depending how you feel about it
Wellington has such a unique spirit, (and weather patterns!!) and such great people who came together to make us welcome. The school and after school community was and still is awesome.
We found our feet. I began gym instructing. Then eventually started my own coaching business after many years in the corporate field.
Looking back on the challenges, I certainly got stronger, more resourceful. Resilient. I had to rebuild my perceptions based on reality - not the dream or expectation that holidays here had given me.
What we focus on expands
And FOCUS on everything that was good to keep all of our spirits up as we adjusted. I was constantly in awe of the beauty surrounding us, the lovely walks, monarch butterflies in our garden (the first I’d seen!), the ocean on the doorstep. All in a cool cultural capital.
Big life events challenge us. And we need a plan to navigate them well.
Some of the clients I’m working with right now needed support, encouragement and an action-based plan for:
Having a first grandchild on the way (and still working 4 days)
Finding fulfilment when life feels flat
Knowing if this partner is worth the heartache
Navigating a tricky separation with a child
Embracing retirement (what will I do with my time?)
Reinventing yourself when you’re over your work life (lack of) balance
There are challenges but also opportunities - and possibly little miracles in each of these situations, alongside the hard yards and some struggles to resolve them.
August Leadership tip
In the words of Jon Bon Jovi, "miracles happen every day. Change your perception of what a miracle is - and you'll see them all around you".
This month's leadership and life coaching conversations have been disproportionately impacted by our Wellington weather! Which got me thinking about our perceptions and how they can steal our energy, send us down negative spirals and quash our desire to strive for better outcomes.
So, I'll begin with a tale of perception, focus....and two very different looking springs...(yes the weather kind)
Right now, 2pm outside my window is beautiful sunshine, warm when you’re in it, folks are out enjoying it, smiling.. short sleeves. Physiologically we embrace the sunshine, especially when it's been in short supply over winter. There's a host of sunny memories in our past (picnics, beaches, holidays..) that define how we feel 'on a day like today'.
When I woke up, spring sucked! Wintery temperatures, rain and we’re all rushing to find a big wooly jumper and pop the heating on! Does a rainy start to our day inherently make it a bad day? Nope but it can so easily put a downer on how we feel.
Today, in my leadership and life coaching sessions, people are chatting happily about how lovely the weather is, how great it is to see spring. Despite this morning, also spring, when we were all disappointed and possibly drenched (like my daughter who expected better and didn’t take her coat).
Again, what we FOCUS on EXPANDS
Perception, and how much power we give it, can so easily impact our levels of energy, desire to take risks or say, stand up and challenge in a meeting. What we FOCUS on EXPANDS, so keep your aim true, focus on your number one priority and be very aware of those rabbit holes we go down that shrink our energy and ability to demonstrate our true potential.
You can be awesome and accomplished even when tough challenges are hitting you like mosquitoes by a river on a sunny day.
Everything is cyclic.. including our energy/mood/outcomes ratio
So, if today, everything sucks and you’re hanging on till 5pm at work, know this.You’re doing an excellent job, keep being awesome at managing the sucky-ness of life. Till the feelings get lighter and easier to carry.
Focus on ANYTHING that is going well, or that is beautiful or brings you joy - and watch your perception of the 'bad day' lift!
I hope you've enjoyed this blog, feel free to check in to ask any questions or to see if I offer what you need here: vickyevans.com/book
Nga mihi nui, till next time!
Vicky