Finding Optimism When You Really Want To Cry

Focus on the good

No one could have anticipated the recent tragic events in Christchurch New Zealand. I feel proud and privileged to be part of a nation that has come together with such overwhelming support for the victims and their families. This bears witness to the strength and solidarity that defines us as a country. It also defines us as part of a global community united against hate crimes.

I experienced terrorist bombings in London around 2000. Nothing is gained by getting caught up in the horror, devastation and inevitable drama that must accompany terrible events as we experience them. Isn’t that exactly what the perpetrators want? World-wide coverage, headlines and to become known as the person responsible for the tragedy? It’s hard not to feel angry, sad and unforgiving though isn’t it? We are human after all.

How can we move on?

But isn’t the most difficult part moving on despite tragic circumstances? When our children are asking, “so how do we move past the feelings of anger and feeling powerless?” How can we be brave when all we want to do is cry? How can we feel able to acknowledge that there are better times ahead….when everyday life feels like an immense challenge.

Proven strategies to help

There are proven strategies that help us move forwards more positively despite tragic circumstances.

Be the best version of you.

For most of us that means being brave when we don’t feel brave. Its having each other’s backs and just getting through a day and appreciating that we made it to bedtime.

Putting on a brave face can be challenging but it can help us to feel more empowered. No one said it would be easy – but it may be worth it!

The universe has your back

Know that you have a power in you (life force) greater than whatever you are facing. Your life is precious and unrepeatable. Finding the strength to support ourselves and each other from within unites families, communities and nations alike.

Every day, in the privacy of my morning shower, I use affirmations to help me feel on top of my day before it begins. One of the affirmations I use is, ” I have my back and the universe has my back”. It helps me feel more powerful than my fragile emotions sometimes dictate. Try it, no one will ever know!

Appreciate what we do have

Appreciating what we do have even in the midst of circumstances that can feel crushing is a great coping strategy. Even if the only thing we can be thankful for is a house, food in the fridge, a warm bed – that’s more than many have. Being thankful for each other and the roles we play in supporting each other can be very comforting.

Reach out to someone you care about today and share your belief in them. As I coach this is an exercise that we follow in the DreamBuilder course and its surprisingly powerful for both the recipient and for you. Taking action on this will make you feel better – try it – I’d love to hear if it helped you.

Be optimistic

I have been described as irritatingly positive. I do try to find a positive in any given situation and sometimes that’s appropriate. I am also a realist and quite pragmatic. Sometimes finding an optimistic approach serves much better.

The Oxford Dictionary defines Optimism as follows:
‘Hopefulness and confidence about the future or the success of something.’ And perhaps most powerfully, ‘The belief that good must ultimately prevail over evil in the universe’. Isn’t that wonderful? Good must ultimately prevail over evil. 

Keeping that optimism alive and knowing that we all stand together as one makes us feel more powerful – even in tragic circumstances. My heart goes out to family and friends in Christchurch but I know you’ll come through this – believe in my belief if today it doesn’t seem so for you.

Are you or someone you know have affected by the Christchurch tragedy or are struggling with grief, anxiety or depression generally? Please use the book a Free session button on my website to grab a slot in my calendar for this week or next. I also run a four week course called Standing Firm specifically designed to help people move forwards after trauma. You can review it here:

I’d be honoured to help in any way I can.

With Love,

Vicky <3