Welcome to my December Uplift! our last blog for 2025 – where the heck did this year go? Even my teenagers are shocked!
Every month we share leadership and life, or workshopping tips and case studies to make life easier or help us do even better. I also review the key challenge that has come up for my clients in my Challenges Reimagined series, (please follow me on LinkedIn, Insta or FB to get these every week). I pick the one that has the most traction and resonance to unpack here.
This month’s top Challenge Reimagined:
How to navigate communications challenges and stress over the festive season?
Often this time of year brings up a lot.
1. Historic challenges may come to the surface, in our closest and familial relationships. Its an emotionally charged time.
2. There’s always a lot to do – every year. There may be an uneven sharing of the work that needs to be done.
3. The mental load may feel especially heavy as do our own – or other expectations of ‘how things need to be’. Fellow recovering prefectionists unite!
On top of that – navigating a communications shutdown/family or relationship estrangement in our relationship as the holidays approach can be especially challenging. This is the focus for this month’s case study below.
Case study: unresolved family argument (standoff)
Do you have an unresolved argument? This month’s client conversation (anonymous and with permission) centers on an unresolved, long-standing issue with a member of their family. A mother daughter dynamic. And it’s a standoff that’s been going on for over a year. Both self admittedly stubborn folks. But who really gains in a standoff? Sometimes “giving in” is a challenge (due to our pride and need to be right) or issues just seem impossible to resolve. Till we do.
When things are emotional I recommend taking your mind off it! I call it ‘parking it’ and it definitely takes some self discipline. Sometimes taking our focus off whatever seems upsetting helps us see the bigger picture. Once you’re calmer, it’s worth reaching out kindly and talking about something ELSE (not related to the standoff) that you CAN and always did connect on.
Then sometimes, the stand off issues can seem less important and even sometimes resolve themselves. Or we both agree to park it and move on. There was a study by Cornell researcher Karl Pillemer, (fully unpacked on his book is called 30 lessons for living) studied 70/80/90 and 100 year olds who were asked for the biggest life lessons and advice they’d give their younger selves and others.
A biggie was not letting unresolved issues ruin a perfectly good relationship – often due to pride or not wanting to give in.
Have you ever had this happen? What was your experience?
You can email your feedback or question directly to me here:
Life Tip:
My #Life Tip this month is: Reducing overwhelm – get organised and resourced!
1. Write a list of the top 10 things that you need to do or have not asked for help with.
2. Prioritise them and add an anticipated amount of time the task or activity may take to complete.
3. Next look at your availability and energy levels right now and see how much of your life you believe you can accomplish EASILY.
4. Next assess everyone in your life who may be able to assist with ANY of these tasks.
5. Have a conversation about what needs to be done, and how much you’d value some additional help and support or just sharing the load.
6. Thank yourself (!) and of course people and make sure they understand that they are appreciated and valued. I hope someone also thanks you!
The lesson here is to Be brave enough to ask for help – and bluntly, don’t be the Christmas martyr! It’s not a good look on anyone and if you don’t ask, people may think you’ve got everything covered. The festive season could possibly be easier with a little more planning and intention. See if this works for you!
Something you may not know about me:
I am originally from the UK, a Geordie, from Newcastle Upon Tyne. I founded my business back in 2016 after emigrating to New Zealand with my children’s father (I am now divorced) back in 2013. The children were 3 & 5 back then – today they are 17 and 15! New Zealand is my adopted forever home, though I have clients internationally.
I hope you have enjoyed this month’s UPLIFT. Here’s to a little more growth and optimism every day.
Wishing you a splendid festive season and to 2025 ahead (wherever you may be in my global network!).May everything your heart desires and more come to you via intentions, planning and action in 2026!!
Vicky Evans is an experienced double certified executive, leadership and life coach and workshop facilitator. Helping leaders find clarity, direction and confidence. And to know their worth.
If you have a question or would like to connect, please use the contact form, or you can either email me or book an intro session from here:
vickyevans.com/book (gives you a peek at the available spots in my diary). Thank you. See you in 2026